Life is a Sudoku game

I don't really mean that. But since I am so into it, I thot it sounds like a good title.

Weddings, funerals, births..Old age. Retirement.

1st funeral for the year. morbid. Counting number of funerals I'm attending in a year.

I can't remember when I first met her. Maybe at my wedding. She had always been a friendly one. Her conversations were a mixture of English, Mandarin and Hakka. I can never make myself address them the way hubby does.. Even till today, I consider myself an outsider.

So what's it going to be ? I'm either reading, doing Sudoku or writing. What do i dream of doing ? I dream of travelling. And then I wonder why I want to travel. What's the pleasure of the travelling ? Seeing the places I read about ? So what ? Why do i want to travel to the US, to live there for a couple of months ? what pleasure will I get out of that ? After all, i don't really socialise. I am happy with my own company.

So what if I have all the money in the world ?

I am still looking for that illusive success, the illusive perfect job that I cannot find.

So what's so bad abt my current job ? Employer the same. Pay Ok. What determines success ? Why not satisfied ? So if I do get to Band 10, then what ? What gives me pleasure ? Reading a thriller is exciting only when I am on the journey of discovery. But when I reach the end of the book, I am usually disappointed. Disappointed with the ending. I don't ever want anything to end, esp if it is a good thing. Like if I am enjoying a good holiday..

The last holiday in Tasmania. Was it fun ? Not really.. I was busy solving Sudoku puzzles ! What do I really want to get out of a holiday ? Change of scenary, food. Mount KK.. is that the kind of holiday that I enjoy ?

Take today. Woke up early. Made breakfast for son. Guilty that all I could prepare for him was 2 hardboiled eggs. Sent him to the meeting point to catch his bus to his camp. Went to the shops to get some breakfast 'cos we were due to leave for the funeral parlour at 815am. Went to pick sis-in-law. So it was a rather eventful day compared to most w/ends.. went for a nice lunch with mum, in-laws. Picked up new used car with hubby and mum. Came home. Wanted to go for my weekly exercise but coloured my hair instead. Had dinner. Solved some sudoku puzzles. Got bored. And now, here I am.

What will make me happy ?